What are you doing?

I'm embarking on a cross-country Electric Unicycle (EUC) journey. I have 30 days to see how far east I can get. My ultimate goal is Washington, DC, but let’s be real: making it there is nearly impossible. I’m 63, have a fake knee, one kidney, a bad back, and ADHD. There’s a good chance I’ll get hurt or distracted—so don’t be surprised if this ends early.

Why do this?

I love electric unicycling, I love adventure, and I want to challenge myself. I’ve been retired for several years, and life has gotten a bit routine. In my consulting days, I was always working on projects I’d never done before, usually within tight deadlines. Most of the time, the client’s initial objective would change once more information came to light and better solutions emerged.

Honestly, I’m not sure what my objective is here—or what problem I’m trying to solve—but I hope to figure that out by the end. At the very least, I know I’ll see interesting things and meet interesting people. Hopefully, I’ll enjoy the journey, given that the end goal is neither clear nor realistic.

What is an Electric Unicycle?

An electric unicycle is a one-wheeled vehicle powered by electricity. You stand on it like you’re straddling your roller bag. EUCs have been around for about eight years. They use the same principle as a Segway: lean forward to move forward, lean back to brake, and lean sideways to turn.

You can charge an EUC using a standard 110v plug. My unicycle has a maximum range of 125 miles and a top speed of 60 mph. For this trip, I’ll be riding between 20 and 35 mph to conserve range. If I push it to 36 mph or higher, my range drops to around 60 miles. I figure I can afford to go faster on legs that are 50 miles or less. It takes about 2.5 hours to fully charge the EUC—so there’s probably a simple math equation that could calculate my daily distance potential. I should figure that out.

Why Washington, DC?

A lot of crazy old men have tried to get to Washington, DC without clear objectives, proper planning, or the right skills. I figured I’d join their ranks.

Why a unicycle?

After extensive conversations with friends, a few so-called experts, and some light internet research, I narrowed my options down to three.

First, I considered a jetpack. Let’s be honest—jetpacks are way cooler than EUCs. Why ride a unicycle when you could fly? Unfortunately, jetpacks have terrible range, are insanely expensive, and require skills I don’t have.

I also considered “borrowing” a mobility scooter from Walmart. It would have been much cheaper than buying a high-range unicycle—and a lot more comfortable. Plus, I could recharge it at every Walmart along the way. Unfortunately, my route includes long stretches without Walmarts (this is Family Dollar country), and then there’s the small matter of potential legal issues. (Exhibit A.)

Given that those two options were off the table, the next logical choice was an electric unicycle.

Why now—as in May 6th?

I have a few spare weeks, and if I wait any longer, it’ll be too hot to make it across Nevada and Utah.

What’s the longest distance you’ve ever ridden in a day?

110 miles.

How far is it to Washington, DC on your selected route?

About 3,300 miles.

How many miles do you plan to cover each day?

My current plan is around 150 miles per day.

Isn’t 30 × 150 = 4,500? That leaves you with a lot of extra days.

Yes. My assumptions include perfect weather, no health issues, no mechanical failures, and easy access to charging. Given how unrealistic those assumptions are, the math error seems trivial by comparison.

Is this just a piece of performance art?

I’m not exactly sure what performance art is, but I imagine I’d need to wear a beret if it were. I’ve already invested a lot in equipment and supplies, and I don’t think any further “artistic” investment is warranted.

Is “invest” the right word?

People say cryptocurrency is an investment, and I’m still not sure what its real use case is. An EUC as a means of cross-country travel probably makes about as much sense as investing in crypto.

What song are you most afraid of getting stuck in your head on long highway stretches?

“Muskrat Love.”
I like muskrats, and I like love—but the combination is both disturbing and something I don’t want looping in my head while crossing the hot sands of Nevada. Muskrats are undoubtedly an important part of the wetland ecosystem, but I feel strongly that their mating practices should not be immortalized in song (or dance).

What’s your logistics strategy?

Carry everything on my back and buy whatever I forget, lose, or suddenly need.

Will you be camping?

I hope not.

How did you choose your route?

I picked a route through Nevada, Utah, and Colorado. I thought crossing that terrain would be a good challenge—and offer incredible scenery. I’ve driven the western part of this route and found it breathtaking (and long). I think doing it slowly will only amplify both of those qualities.

I’m also passing through Emporia, Kansas, where my grandfather grew up. If he were alive, I’m sure he’d want to be part of this trip.

Has anyone ever done this before?

Yes, a few people have!

A young man named Luke Oakley completed a ride across the country in support of the Wounded Warriors program. He went from Myrtle Beach, North Carolina, to Santa Monica, California in 42 days. He seems like a fantastic person who gives you hope for the future.
Watch Luke’s video.

Then there’s Ed Pratt, who actually went around the world—on a human-powered unicycle! It was physically grueling, but at least he didn’t have to worry about charging stations.
Watch Ed’s journey. Watch Luke’s video

And there’s Ed Pratt, who actually went around the world—on a human-powered unicycle! Although physically challenging, he did not have to worry about charging stations.
Watch Ed’s journey